Manchester no és Verona

Instructives vivències per a la formació humana de la canalla arriben d'Anglaterra.
Rachel Christie després d'un renyit concurs de bellesa resulta escollida la primera "reina" de color (negre -és clar) d'Anglaterra. La noia és neboda de un dels atletes més rellevants de la història olímpica d'Anglaterra, Linford Christie. La noia també és atleta d'alt nivell i s'entrena per representar al seu país a les olimpiades de Londres 2012. El seu entrenador sembla que no n'estava al corrent del seu "doble joc". Rachel, que així es diu la nova "reina", és orfe de pare desde els vuit anys. El seu pare va morir en un assumpte de tràfic de drogues. Segons l'avi de la noia, i pare de Linford, el finat tenía més fusta que Linford per ser encara millor atleta.
Rachel, ja "reina" coneix a un "lluitador" d'un programa escombraría de Sky TV. L'individu, de 22 anys es coneix com a Tornado, i és un veterà de totes les guerres en les que estan presents els britanics, desde els seus setze anys. Aquesta és la descripció de la seva personalitat a la web del programa: Violently destructive windstorm full of unstoppable energy. Malgrat la seva doble dedicació militar i televisiva, sembla que també dedicava les nits a desenvolupar la seva destructiva personalitat en diferents clubs nocturns.
No us puc dir quan ni com però sembla que Rachel i Tornado es van coneixer i que alguna química và començar a funcionar entre ambdues criatures. La situació es va fer intolerable per "Miss Manchester", (encara no l'havia presentat, però aquesta noia era la novia de Tornado). La questió és que les noies van arribar a les mans, i la "reina" (atleta d'alt nivell), và malmetre el rostre de "Miss Manchester" (dependenta de comerç).
L'escandol ha forçat que la "reina" abdiqui.
La abdicació ha suposat l'entronament s'una nova "reina". Tot i que el seu nom ens pot confondre amb l'inici de la història (Katrina), no té (de moment) res a veure amb Tornado. Be, fora de que també te un historial militar a Irak, desde els 17 o divuit anys, on la coneixen com a Combat Barbie.
Tot plegat, sembla que hi hauría suficient material per una tragicomèdia, qui s'atreveix?

Simbolisme fariseic

PRESA DI POSIZIONE DI BERLUSCONI. apprezzamento da parte della cei
«Il crocifisso resterà nelle aule»
«Decisione della Corte europea non è rispettosa della realtà e comunque non è coercitiva»


ROMA - «Non è una sentenza coercitiva, non c'è nessuna possibilità di coercizione che ci impedisca di tenere i crocefissi nelle aule». In una conferenza stampa a Palazzo Chigi, Silvio Berlusconi torna a parlare della sentenza della Corte europea dei diritti dell'uomo sui crocifissi nelle aule scolastiche. Il premier ha ribadito tutte le sue perplessità nei confronti di questa decisione spiegando che qualunque sia l'esito del ricorso presentato dal governo italiano «non ci sarà capacità coercitiva».

DECISIONE NON RISPETTOSA DELLA REALTA' - Berlusconi ha poi aggiunto che la decisione della Corte dei diritti dell’uomo «Non è rispettosa della realtà: l’Europa tutta e in particolare l’Italia non può non dirsi cristiana. Quando sono stato presidente del Consiglio Europeo - ha ricordato ancora il premier -condussi una battaglia per introdurre nella Costituzione le radici giudaico-cristiane, ma Paesi laici e laicisti come la Francia di Chirac si opposero e siccome serviva l’unanimità non riuscimmo a introdurle». Comunque, «Se c’è una cosa su cui anche un ateo può convenire è che questa è la nostra storia. Ci sono 8 paesi d’Europa che hanno la croce nella loro bandiera... Cosa dovrebbero fare cambiare la loro bandiera?».

CEI - La conferenza episcopale italiana ha espresso apprezzamento per le parole del premier, che ritiene «non vincolante» la decisione della Corte di Strasburgo sul crocifisso. «Non posso che confermare quanto finora detto dalla stragande maggioranza degli italiani, governo compreso - dice monsignor Vincenzo Paglia, vescovo di Amelia-Terni e responsabile della Cei per l’ecumenismo e il dialogo interreligioso -. C’è un tale consenso contro la sentenza di Strasburgo che mostra quanto essa tenga poco conto della realtà di un Paese».


06 novembre 2009

¿No hay vendido, no ha venido, o hay bandidos?

La reforma de la ley Beckham no afecta a los científicos

Al parecer, "no hay venido ningún investigador extranjero en Catalunya que gane, ni de lejos, esta cantidad", según Icrea


JOSEP CORBELLA | Barcelona | 05/11/2009 | Actualizada a las 00:58h | Deportes

"Está claro que nuestro trabajo no es tan importante como el de los futbolistas", observó ayer un científico suizo afincado en Catalunya al ser preguntado sobre la reforma de la llamada ley Beckham anunciada el martes por el Gobierno. La reforma prevé elevar el IRPF del 24% al 43% para los ciudadanos extranjeros que ganan más de 600.000 euros anuales. "No ha venido ningún investigador extranjero a Catalunya que gane, ni de lejos, esta cantidad. Ni uno", informó ayer Jaume Bertranpetit, director de Icrea, institución especializada en ofrecer contratos competitivos a investigadores destacados para que vengan a Catalunya.
MÁS INFORMACIÓN

* Pochettino aplaude el cambio tributario
* La Liga tratará el viernes la reforma de la 'Ley Beckham' en una Asamblea urgente
* Laporta alerta del daño que la reforma de la ley Beckham causará a los clubs
* Los futbolistas con contrato en vigor mantendrán sus ventajas fiscales durante cinco años
* El Gobierno penaliza a las estrellas del fútbol y mantiene los 400 euros para las rentas más bajas
* Enlace: HagoClic.com: Más noticias sobre la 'Ley Beckham'
*

"Un investigador muy sénior, con un gran currículum y líneas de investigación muy potentes, puede ganar aquí del orden de 100.00 euros anuales", informó ayer Lluís Torner, director del Institut de Ciències Fotòniques. Directores de otros centros elevaron la estimación a un máximo de 150.000 euros para los investigadores mejor remunerados. Pero se trata de casos contados, advirtieron. La mayoría de los directores de grupos de investigación que trabajan en Catalunya cobran cantidades sensiblemente inferiores.

En el caso de los llamados Icrea júnior, investigadores con un gran potencial pero que se encuentran al inicio de sus carreras, la remuneración se sitúa en unos 32.000 euros anuales, informó Bertranpetit.

Aun así, añadió el director de Icrea, la ley Beckham "nos ayuda", ya que permite que los científicos extranjeros paguen sólo el 24% de su sueldo en impuestos en sus primeros cuatro años en España. La reforma de la ley prevé mantener este porcentaje para remuneraciones inferiores a 600.000 euros anuales, lo que incluye a todos los científicos.

volem bisbes catalans?

BISBAT DE GIRONA

NOTA A TENIR PRESENT EN LA PETICIÓ DE DEPENDÈNCIES PARROQUIALS PER A REALITZAR LA CONSULTA SOBRE LA SOBIRANIA

Avui dia vivim en llibertat democràtica i les diverses opcions es poden exposar en diferents llocs i de maneres variades.
En relació amb la petició de realitzar “la consulta sobre la sobirania”, promoguda per diverses associacions populars o polítiques amb suport municipal no oficial, en dependències de les parròquies, el Bisbat de Girona ofereix als rectors i encarregats d’esglésies les consideracions següents a tenir presents:
* Cal respectar el dret d’alguns ciutadans de preguntar a altres conciutadans sobre les qüestions que s’escaiguin, mentre s’ajustin a la legislació vigent a Catalunya.
* Ens adonem que una “consulta”, com la que es planteja en aquest moments, porta o pot portar una divisió de la mateixa comunitat parroquial, i del mateix poble, sigui per la pregunta a respondre, sigui per l’oportunitat, sigui pel lloc on es realitza.
* Per això considerem que no s’han de realitzar ni les reunions preparatòries ni la consulta posterior, en cap dels locals o dependències parroquials.
* Els promotors han de respectar la llibertat, i sobretot la identitat de la nostra Església, i alhora l’opinió, manifesta o no, dels membres de les nostres parròquies que és prou variada.
* És així –ens sembla– com millor servim, com a Església diocesana, la Catalunya del present i del futur.
Girona, 26 d’octubre de 2009

El bisbe Francesc i el Consell Episcopal

La justicia "és lo que és" (de El País)

>Una localitat perduda en una zona de meseta àrida i boirosa, a 50 Km de Madrid per la "lliberalització" de terreny edificable del darrer període "aznarita" queda convertida en un "amable" espai per portar-hi la família...<

El alcalde de Seseña, condenado por calumnias a El Pocero

Fuentes (IU) luchó durante años contra los planes urbanísticos del constructor

V. G. C. - Madrid - 03/11/2009

Vota

Resultado 9 votos

Comentarios - 8

El alcalde de Seseña, Manuel Fuentes (Izquierda Unida), y otros cuatro concejales de IU han sido condenados hoy a multa por "calumniar" al constructor Francisco Hernando, El Pocero. El titular del juzgado de lo Penal número 1 de Toledo ha impuesto a Fuentes y sus compañeros una multa de 3.600 euros cada uno; tendrán que pagar, además, una indemnización conjunta de 15.000 euros a Hernando y las costas del juicio, según ha adelantado Efe y ha confirmado un portavoz de IU. Los condenados recurrirán la sentencia ante la Audiencia Provincial.

El alcalde de Seseña, que durante años batalló contra los planes urbanísticos de El Pocero en la localidad -Hernando diseñó una macrourbanización en un secarral y luego la dejó a medio construir-, fue llevado al final por el propio Hernando ante la justicia, después de que en 2007 fuese publicado, en el boletín local de IU, un artículo titulado El mago del ladrillo que ahora el juez califica de calumnioso. Fuentes ha tachado la decisión judicial de "injusta". Él y los otros cuatro concejales siempre han negado ser los autores del artículo.

El coordinador general de IU en Castilla-La Mancha, Daniel Martínez, ha afirmado que se siente "orgulloso" de que Manuel Fuentes sea "el primer alcalde de la historia democrática de España que ha sido condenado por defender el interés general de su pueblo y luchar contra la corrupción urbanística".

el motiu del post anterior

Sobreviure una temporada a una pressó de Guinea Equatorial sembla que és una prova tant o més dura que la Marathon des Sables, el fet de que aquest ex-alumne de Eton hagi aconseguit estovar el cor del Obiang jà sembla prou curiós. Recordeu que a més a més en el judici que el condemnava a 34 anys a una de les pressons "top ten" del mon, va implicar un recolzament exterior entre els que figuraven el fill de la Maggie Thatcher, i el "mariscal" de les Azores i el Perejil.
Caldrà seguir la informació per coneixer quin és l'estat en el que hà quedat aquest mercenari, i si contribueix a aclarir una mica la confussió sobre els objectius africans del inefable Jose Mari.

Simon Mann may face Scotland Yard questioning

Police say they have been liaising with prosecutors about possible charges over Equatorial Guinea coup plot

• Buzz up!
• Digg it

• Vikram Dodd
• guardian.co.uk, Tuesday 3 November 2009 16.50 GMT
• Article history

Simon Mann. Photograph: AFP/Getty

Scotland Yard is considering whether to interview Simon Mann when he arrives back in Britain as part of its investigation into the attempted coup for which he was jailed in Equatorial Guinea.

The Old Etonian mercenary was freed from prison today after serving part of a 34-year sentence for his involvement in the 2004 plot. Equatorial Guinea's president, Teodoro Obiang, said detectives from the Met's counterterrorism command, SO15, had interviewed Mann while he served his sentence.

Scotland Yard said it had been liaising with the Crown Prosecution Service over whether it had gathered enough evidence to bring charges. There are allegations that part of the plotting occurred in London, meaning Mann could face prosecution under terrorism legislation.

The Met said it had "monitored" Mann's trial in Equatorial Guinea, where he claimed that others including Sir Mark Thatcher had been involved. Detectives visited Equatorial Guinea three times between July and October last year. They first went on 28 July, returning five days later, and again for 12 days, returning to the UK on September 17. Their final visit was from 14 to 28 October.

Obiang, in an interview shortly after the detectives left last year, said Mann had co-operated with British police and had named names. He told the Mail on Sunday: ""Simon Mann has collaborated brilliantly with them and given them information, names and other things, which they didn't know about the case.

"We have a law that if someone behaves well or collaborates with the government then we can, in certain circumstances, pardon them or give them a reduction in their sentence. Simon Mann has collaborated with our government and the British police and if he continues to behave so well then yes, we will reduce his sentence."

el "trullo" en el pitjor del seu significat

The List: The World's Most Notorious Prisons

By Greg Shtraks Page 1 of 1

Posted January 2009

With President Obama expected to announce the closing of the detention center at Guantánamo Bay within days, here's a look at five of the most brutal and controversial prisons that are still in operation around the world. PIERRE-FRANCK COLOMBIER/AFP/Getty Images La Santé Country: France Conditions: The last remaining prison in Paris -- it's located near the Montparnasse area -- was established in 1867 and has housed everyone from surrealist poet Guillaume Apollinaire to legendary assassin Carlos the Jackal. The prison's name, which means "health," might seem ironic considering the conditions inside. Mattresses are infested with lice, and because prisoners are only allowed two cold showers per week, skin diseases are common. Overcrowded cells, rat infestations, rape, and the humiliation of prisoners' families were also common. In 1999 there were 124 suicide attempts in La Santé, almost five times as many as in California's entire prison system during the same period. These facts only became available in 2000 when the head surgeon of the prison, Véronique Vasseur, published a bestselling book chronicling abuses in the prison. The book caused an uproar and a celebrity campaign to improve prisons throughout France, but little in the way of progress. France's prison conditions were condemned by the U.N. Human Rights Committee and the country's own minister of justice in 2008. STR/AFP/Getty Images Black Beach Country: Equatorial Guinea Conditions: An Amnesty International official described incarceration in this prison, located on a volcanic island, as "a slow, lingering death sentence." Torture, including burning, beatings, and rape is systematic and brutal. Food rations are so minimal -- prisoners sometimes go up to six days without food -- that death from starvation is common. Amnesty also reports that inmates are routinely denied access to medical treatment or visits from the outside. The prison received international notoriety last year when British mercenary Simon Mann (left) was sentenced to 34 years in Black Beach for plotting to overthrow Equatorial Guinea's government. Mann's lawyers tried to fight his extradition to the country on the grounds that he would likely be tortured or killed, but to no avail. MAXIM MARMUR/AFP/Getty Images Vladimir Central Prison Country: Russia Conditions: This gloomy edifice in central Russia was constructed by Catherine the Great to house political prisoners and today mostly houses violent criminals. Among the famous inmates here were Stalin's son, Vasily Dzhugashvili, dissident Natan Sharansky, and Francis Gary Powers, the American U-2 pilot who was shot down in 1963. After World War II, the Soviets took uniforms from Nazi death camps in liberated Poland and used them for prisoners in Vladimir. The prison's uniforms are based on that design to this day. During the Soviet era, the prison's name became synonymous with persecution of political dissidents. Today, the prison also bizarrely functions as a museum for the public. Visitors are not actually allowed into the penitentiary, but can be shown around specially vacated bunkers that mimic prison life and display personal items of some of the famous prisoners of the past. Behind the display, however, conditions at Vladimir remain as tough as ever. Prisoners are packed six to a cell and reports of abuse by guards are common. HIV and tuberculosis are also rampant. OREL COHEN/AFP/Getty Images Camp 1391 Country: Israel Conditions: Officially, Camp 1391 does not exist, but descriptions of its conditions have filtered out to the media. The Red Cross is not allowed to visit, and prisoners have no idea where they are being kept or when they might be released. 1391 is often called "Israel's Guantánamo," but unlike the American facility, it's not on a remote overseas military base. It's less than an hour's drive from Tel Aviv. 1391 was created by the British as a detention center for Jews and Arabs plotting against the colonial government, but it wasn't until 2004 that an Israeli historian studying old maps for a journal article discovered that it still existed. The discovery of the secret facility for interrogating suspected terrorists set off a media firestorm in Israel. Like the U.S. facility at Abu Ghraib, sexual humiliation and even rape are reportedly used as interrogation techniques on the mostly Muslim prisoners at 1391. But former inmates say that isolation and uncertainty are the worst tortures of all. "You begin to feel like the jail exists only for you, that no one else is there," one told Newsweek. CARL DE SOUZA/AFP/Getty Images The North Korean Gulag Country: North Korea Conditions: Up to 200,000 prisoners are held in Kim Jong Il's detention centers. One of these, Haengyong, is bigger than the District of Columbia and houses more than 50,000 inmates. Entire families and even neighborhoods are sent here as punishment for the infraction of one member. In some camps, up to 25 percent of the prisoners die every year, only to be replaced by new inmates. Most of the camps are located along the North Korean border with China and Russia, and prisoners are subjected to harsh weather conditions as well as inhumane treatment. Almost all of what's known about these camps comes from defectors such as Shin Dong-hyuk (right), a prisoner born in Camp No. 14 in 1982 after his parents were imprisoned for having relatives who fled the country. He lived his entire life inside the camp until escaping in 2006. Shin watched guards execute both of his parents for trying to break out. He was also beaten for their crime. To date, Shin is the only known person to have escaped from Camp No. 14. Greg Shtraks is an editorial researcher at FP.

Alternatives: Tornar a portar al Papa de Roma, muntar un altre circuit de Formula 1, ampliar Terra Mítica, ampliar les pistes de esqui de Marina d'Or

PIDEN AYUDA AL GOBIERNO

A 82 ayuntamientos valencianos no les queda ni un euro en la caja

Un total de 82 consistorios de la comunidad valenciana han pedido ayuda al Gobierno para financiar su déficit de tesorería. Sus arcas municipales están vacías. Algunos no tienen ni para pagar la nómina a sus funcionarios.

2009-11-02

LIBERTAD DIGITAL

Las administraciones locales se han convertido en el mayor nicho subprime de la crisis en el momento actual. Según recientes informaciones, los consistorios acumulan deudas de 3.500 millones de euros con las empresas pertenecientes a la Asociación de Empresas de Limpieza Pública, según esta propia organización.

Además, la crisis lleva al límite los impagos. El 90% de las pymes almacena facturas impagadasy una cuarta parte está al borde de la quiebra. Los retrasos alcanzan hasta los 800 días en Andalucía.

Precisamente esta comunidad autónoma alberga el primer ayuntamiento que suspendió pagos, el de Palomares, según una información de Pedro de Tena el pasado mes de junio en Libertad Digital.

Los ayuntamientos y las CCAA, adeudan a proveedores 30.000 y 12.000 millones de euros, respectivamente. Dicho de otro modo, este secuestro de recursos es más del triple de la recaudación extra que espera obtener el Gobierno con su última subida de impuestos (que afectará al tipo del IRPF, del IVA y los rendimientos del ahorro).

Ahora, según publica levante-emv.com un total de 82 ayuntamientos valencianos han pedido ayuda al Gobierno porque tienen las arcas vacías. Según esta publicación, los consistorios han pedido al Gobierno central 257 millones en préstamos para hacer frente a los pagos más inmediatos, como las nóminas de sus funcionarios. Algunos de los concejales que han dado la cara explican, como el responsable de hacienda del Ayuntamiento de Torrent, quien se defiende señalando que arrastraban remanentes negativos "heredados de la gestión socialista" desde 2006 a 2008 que llegaron a 8,7 millones.

Además, levante-emv.com señala que el Minisetrio de Economía y Hacienda ha autorizado a los 82 consistorios valencianos, concretar operaciones de endeudamiento para financiar su déficit de tesorería. Tienen las arcas públicas vacías. Así, los ayuntamientos podrán liquidar facturas pendientes que mantienen con empresas y autónomos, así como con sus propios funcionarios. El único requisito que el Gobierno exigía para poder acogerse a este plan es no tener ni un solo euro en la caja a cierre del ejercicio de 2008.

La curiosa vida, i aspecte dels cavallets de mar

The sex life of seahorses

The mating habits of these bizarrely beautiful creatures are fascinating – they are the only species in which males truly become pregnant. We reveal the secrets of the sea bed, plus how to keep seahorses as pets

• Helen Scales
• The Guardian, Monday 2 November 2009
• Article history

Seahorses mating in a heart-shaped embrace. Photograph: George Grall/Getty Images/National Geographic

Peer at a seahorse, briefly hold one up to the light, and you will see a most unlikely creature; something you would hardly believe was real were it not lying there in the palm of your hand. Should we presume these odd-looking creatures were designed by a mischievous god who had some time on her hands? Rummaging through a box labelled "spare parts", she finds a horse's head and, feeling a desire for experimentation, places it on top of the pouched torso of a kangaroo.

1. Poseidon's Steed
2. by Helen Scales
3. 272pp,
4. GOTHAM BOOKS,
5. £15.99
6. 

1. Buy Poseidon's Steed at the Guardian bookshop

This playful god adds a pair of swivelling chameleon eyes and the prehensile tail of a tree-dwelling monkey for embellishment – then stands back to admire her work. Not bad, but how about a suit of magical colour-changing armour, and a crown shaped as intricately and uniquely as a human fingerprint? Shrink it all down to the size of a chess piece and the new creature is complete.

No matter how tempting such a strange tale of creation may be, seahorses are real creatures, a product of natural selection and an endangered species. They inhabit a wide stretch of the oceans and are not, as we might suppose, restricted to warm azure waters that lap on equatorial shores. If you stand with your toes dabbling in shallow sea almost anywhere in the world there is a chance you might see a seahorse. Not a very great chance, admittedly, but a chance nonetheless.

Right now, somewhere in the world, sunbeams pierce through shallow water and cast pools of brightness on the seagrass meadow below. The night shift has ended, and diurnal creatures begin to emerge from sleeping hideaways: rabbitfish, parrotfish, damselfish.

Suddenly, two tiny silhouettes come together like a pair of knights on a chessboard. The seahorses greet each other with a nose-to-nose caress and, wrapping their tails around a single blade of grass, they begin a seductive dance, spiralling round and round each other. Blushes of orange and pink give away their emotions and, for a moment, the seahorses swim together, heads tucked down, tails entwined. A gentle humming and clicking from the male is the soundtrack to their flirting.

The first time a seahorse couple meet, this gentle courtship carries on for hours, days even, and it is a risky time. Driven by hormones that interfere with the instinct to hide, they abandon the camouflaged safety of their seagrass home. The female initiates sex by reaching up toward the surface, stretching her body as straight as it will go. This proves quite irresistible to the male, who immediately responds by pumping his tail vigorously up and down.

The couple halt in the open water column and hold their bodies close, forming a heart shape with their touching snouts and bellies. Their first attempt isn't quite right, so they break apart and try again several times until their position is perfected, the female just above the male. Then an extraordinary thing happens. A short hollow tube emerges from the female, which she pushes into an opening in her partner's belly. The couple raise their heads and arch their backs as the female shoots an egg-laden liquid into the male.

Copulation is perfunctory, taking just six or seven seconds. When the male is full with the precious cargo, he wanders off, his bright mating costume already fading. He sways and wiggles his body, settling the eggs into position where they will remain for the next few weeks, growing in a protected internal pond.

The strangest thing about seahorses is that their males are the only ones in the world who experience – firsthand – the agonies of childbirth. Admittedly, there are many fathers who do a great job of helping out with the youngsters. In eastern Australia's rainforests, tadpoles of the marsupial frog wriggle into special pouches slung on their fathers' hind legs. Six weeks later, out hop the next generation of miniature frogs.

Nova creació divina (després de 6000 anys), un nou tipus de "pàjaru" , de The Onion

God Introduces New Bird

October 9, 2009 | Issue 45•41

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• U.S. Dog Owners Fear Arrival Of Africanized Fleas 03.23.05
• God Wondering Whatever Happened To That Planet Where He Made All Those Monkeys 10.18.00

THE HEAVENS—In what is being described by advance marketing materials as "the first divine creation in more than 6,000 years," God Almighty, Our Lord Most High, introduced a brand-new species of bird into existence Monday.

Enlarge Image

God attends the launch of the new bird (inset).

"Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve, prepare thine eyes for the most exciting line of avian wildlife in millennia," God announced as He released an estimated 14 million first-run models into the important bird markets of North America, Australia, and Eurasia. "This new bird has it all: slicker wings, a more streamlined beak, better-than-ever capacity for beautiful song. Plus, all of the grace and majesty you've come to expect from the Eternal Creator of Life Itself."

"The bird is back," God continued, His booming voice parting the very heavens. "And baby, it's never looked better."

According to the latest specs, etched in two tablets of stone and handed down from atop Mount Sinai, the new bird is anticipated by God to be His finest creation to date. Available in two colors-—male and female—the bird reportedly combines everything God has learned from His previous works into one "new twist on an old favorite."

In keeping with tradition, the bird has not been given a name by God, who has left it to mankind to name all the animals.

"This came out at the perfect time," said Chet Clem, Chair of Biblical Science at Oral Roberts University. "God hadn't come out with anything in a long while, and people, quite frankly, were beginning to lose faith in Him. But this bird is totally worth the wait."

Added Clem, "It's classic God."

Enlarge Image

An early blueprint for the design of the heaven-sent creature.

"Our Heavenly Father has really outdone Himself this time," ornithologist Dr. Avram Wasserbaum agreed. "Birds don't tend to be His strong suit—take the buzzard or the dodo, for instance. This latest bird, though, has all of God's patented design touches: splendor, grace, and an ineffable sense of timelessness. Trust me, once folks get a load of the brilliant plumage, this thing is really going to put God back on top."

"Plus, birds are hot right now," he added.

For His part, God has even gone so far as to call the new bird His "masterpiece."

"I'm telling you, I pulled out all the stops on this one," He said. "It looks kind of like a hawk, but it's more compact, and it has a smart, sexy flight pattern that has to be seen to be believed. And if that's not enough, get this: This bird eats insects, like a bat."

God's faith in His newest creation remains so high, in fact, that if it turns out to be as popular as expected, He plans to discontinue one of His less beloved species, such as the pigeon.

Not all, however, are impressed.

"The wingspan is not really doing it for me," said well-known creation critic Jean Krewson. "And does it always squawk like that? After six millennia, couldn't God have come up with something a little edgier to breathe life into? I hate to say it, but maybe the One Who Made Man Flesh is losing His touch."

"It's no bald eagle, that's for sure," he added.

Despite such criticisms, most humans remained united in praise of the new species, which is already surpassing previous records for bird popularity in all major wildlife sectors.

"Get 'em while supplies last," God said. "Or before they're hunted to total extinction."